9Sunday, March 26, 2006

fridae,
my sis n cuz went to apm...dey sae it was great...my ticket was sold to 1 of my cuz as i have to attend my religious class...like fark,how dumb can i be?...fridae is my religious class n i still bought ticket to see the amp..i can't possible skip my religious class as i have not been attending it fer 3 consecutive weeks already..and if i were to skip that lesson my name will be cancled off..

after coming home from religious class,my brother
ask mi if i am goin to attend his ncc ceremony at the
indoor stadium the next dae.i said i'm not free...
den he said this to me"you,kakak n ayah all de same!
promise here promise der,but never once fufil ur promises.
isit that hard for u all to attend that ceremony?!
Mum told mi to respect u all but how am i to respect you
all when you guys make empty promises?!"

Than i recalled,that when he got that invitaion for de ceremony, i promised him that i'll be attending.But now i'm not free. Is not that i purposely indend to make empty promises.is i forgot.though i'm an egoistic person i went up to him n said i was sorry...its hard for mi cuz i have high ego...but i noe i was wrong so i apologise...

he jus keep quiet and sater at mi balnkly,den a while later he told mi to get out of de room so i jus did...went back to my room,recalling how isit to feel that someting u are proud of n want to showcase to ur family n none were free to witness it...it happened to mi...it suck big time i noe...and its amazing that deep down my brother's joyful charecter der is deep anger within...and so does my sis..i think i finally found somthing common among my siblings n i.. der is deep anger n hatrated deep within our joyful charater,n we put up a great show to hide all these anger..

saturddae,
wen to tuition.den went home staright intending to help my brother iron his uniform becuz i felt guity.and it suck being in guit.reach home onli to found out that he has went for his ceremony.when he came home i asked him if he wanted to go to my granmother house cuz every saturdae we gather der with all the other cuz.

he stood der n gave mi a blank face.
he treated mi n my sis coldy cuz of this ceremony.he broughtt a slice of pizza home and i din eat de whole dae, cuz my mum din cook a thing.he gave that pizza to my mum. i asked my mum if i could have some..den he shouted at mi"that's mum,empty promises people can't touch it!" so i put it down n went to my grandmother house to eat. The ceremony may be a big deal to him..but i din purposly make empty promises..tell mi who the hell want to be labled as empty pormises ppl.tell mi...no one...
i am sorry for not being able to attend to his ceremony...but i had a valid reason.

todae,
dragged him n my sis to a movie.we watch shaggy dog...the stori was rather lame...Anyways,my intention was to make up for the empty promises that i made wid my brother...i noe by doin this dun solve the problem...but it will certainly helps to make de matter better.Had a nice chat with my brother n sister.Went to eat at pizza Hut, causway. talk to my btother that i have no intention of making empty promises n certainly making him upset..i was shocked that he marked every date everyone in de family make empty promises to him,wat is it n how he felt.it was amazing to noe that der are so many anger n gruges in him fer a small kid..mayb, he being de youngest child find it hard to open up to me n my sister as me n my sis spent time alone together before he was born and we understand each other more. and by de time he was born n able to talk we are schooling n have no time to spent playing with him,that's why is he negleted...

this month has been a challenging month fer mi...and i think i grew slightly in de sense of maturity. As when my sis n i argue we use to throw 1 another things outside de window or ripped each other possesion now we talk things through n understand each other little more den we used to...its has been an eye opener for mi...hope this will strengthen my family bonds...
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