hate me? then PISS OFF.

where should i begain...i see no point in blogging fer todae...but den i'm bored so i jus blog...
hmm...at around 11+pm tok on de fone wid my fwen..den ard1+am amanda join de convo den we 3 talk lor...tok n tok n tok1.30am like tt my another fwen come join in de convo...we like 4 idiots crapping earli in de morning...den nas put dwn first...den syuk...den finally mi n manda...den at ard 2 + am gt sec round...but den now its onli mi n syuk..we crap...till its 4 den he woke nas up...cuz he wanna mock fer his test tt is todae...den after tt countinued on talking to syuk till my mum woke up...den i faster put dwn de fone cuz i told her i'm gonna mock ltr tt nite...but i end up on de fone..haha..so put dwn le...mock n mock till 6.15am...

den i took a short nap n woke up at 6.30am...den wake up feel like fark...i dunnno jus all de happiness n fun i was having a few hours before jus fade into de mist...reached skool alot ppl ask mi why i was quiet i jus said i was sick..but actualli i dunno wats wrg wid mi..hmm...i tried to b happi wen lionel all tell hrony jokes...but wen i luff apart of mi deep dwn sae...dun lie to urself in de end wad u get is regret... den de whole dae i feel like shit cuz i'm used to being happi n crazy...i jus be hu i wanna be...but todae i couldn't..the feeling is like a childs wan to be happi so much(me) but couldn't because she scared she got punished(regret) by de mother. like realli...u will onli noe how i feel if u hav encouter tis before....as much as i want to break dwn...i still held back to de tears cuz i noe i have a huge ego n tt's y..and i wore spec todae cuz suddenli my eyes turn red n tears drp to my cheekz...so i used de spect de whole dae so wen dey ask y i simply sae my eyes pain cuz of de spec...but lucky no 1 saw mi..haiz...got short circuit ah iin mi i think..

group study was ok lahz...3.30sharp i go off...den it was raining...so i was feeling like fark too...so i decided to walk in de rain cuz usually wen i'm sad or hav problems by walking in de rain it make mi feel better..so i walk...drenched myself...was cold,i turned pale...cuz it was too freaking cold...reached home i took a long hot bath...but even after doin so i feel de same no less but more fucked...cuz noeing tt de things tt used to make mi feel better dun worked anymore...den i tried slping intending to wake up feel ok..but wen i wake up is still de same...i dunnoe wats bothering mi...i realli dun...i i noe i'll tell thos hu care fer mi...but de fact is even mi myself dunnoe...i hate this to the max...

after waking up frm my sleepi recieve tis msg frm1 idiot...he sms mi bleh kenal2(can gt to noe)
den i replied hu r u,where u gt my no.den he replied,i student from Tp i gt ur no frm some malay chat rooms.den i replied"den i sae to him...couldn't u b anymore realistic...i dun go malay chatroom,nither do i go eng chat rm..i onli use msn.."den he replied "realli"den i replied "sae sori i can't itro myself to u...cuz even without noeing u at de start alrd u are liying..and howould i noe de details u telll mi is true?anyway it wouldn't be sensible to hav my details on de net.usually dey dun give out hp no jus like tt..."den i sms summor sae "i would b a fool to let u noe mi"

those ppl hu have problems dun bottled up urself cuz if u do ,u will make those ppl hu care for u feel hurt n worried,n make those hu care for those hu hav cared for u worried n hurt to...so by bottleing up urself u are hurting lots of pppl...do u wan tt happening to ur loves ones..?n do u wan tt to happen to u .?certainly de answer is no...so pls dun bottled up n sae nvm i rather suffer alone...(esp nas ah!)

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