9Tuesday, June 07, 2005

hmm...last saturdae went to jubilation..hmm..it was great...but sum part wasn't...like de part i have to forced myself to face him...it was hard...but i managed to pull through de nite...i guess...everytime i goin front frm behind...he goin back frm front...so i hav to walk pass him...mayb he saw my face was unhappi to meet him...yah i was because i dun wish to think abt him any mor...he dress veri well...den b4 jubilation mi n manda went to nicole hse...we make our hairs,make up all at nicole hse...nicole did my makeup...i feel like a doll sia...den wen jubilation end...i went hm...den think of him...haiz...tt y i hate to face him....i sure will think of him....think3 until cry...haiz y myz history repeat itself....we made a promise to each other to be stranger,but we acted as enemies...i rather have him b a stranger den an enemy...anyway yah i think of him as a stranger but he think of him as an enemy...wad can i do....anyway gt a job...pay was unstable...so quit...hahaz...wad de hell sia mi...i jus wish tt my life fer once can b like a fairytale...wit a happi ending...i jus wish once fer it onli....but i jus can't gt it...anywayz...ma fwenz are all drifting apart frm mi..sum sae i becum-in like a bitch,sum jus dun like mi fer no reason...but i noe hu r dey...i us dun wish to mention it...sum of dem i dun even xpect dem to sae tt...but dey did...haiz...i'm tryin my bez to make my life fer my fwen n me happi...but it jus nt gonna happen...all my goals can't be achieved...wad a failure i hate myself....my life nw nt stab;e oso...1 after 1 problem came up...in class tis year i'm quiet my cher sae....i guess i'm pulling myself away frm reality tt actually i can't run away frm...wad ever la...jus dun wish to tok abt it anymor...
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