9Wednesday, April 27, 2005
hmm...todae.okok nor...onli todae adam sae gt spot check for bks under table...den mi n lynn put all de bks in de locker...jus nice...open sure drop wan...hehe..den nani moody....so we give her space for while...cause wenever she bad mood, or moody she always like to b alone...den sharon go hm early...cause she sick..GET WELL SOON SHARON! we miss u...but i miss u de most...hehe..froggie....muz get well soon hor...dun b lyk mi always get myself into stupid illness because of him...i noe i won't hav him...but i won't give up...ppl change....hu noe somewhere some how things may change...but i jus hope 1 dae he will noe how deeply i felt for him and wad i gone thru after being ignore n rejected..having no ans on y things hav to end this way...y does de story end hanging....i really,despretly wan to noe wat all de reasons for all this...i jus want to feel content wit his reasons n wen he noe how much i felt for him....itz fine wit mi...eventhough u nvr make it thur....even though we stop at de entrance of de race.and back out from it.all i want is answers frm u...but i noe i'll won't have it.sae seriously...i hav no intention to fall in love wit him..i tot i jus can add on to de circles of fwenz..but dunnoe somewhere...somehow i felt tt i love him...but i wasn't sure...so i kept it to myself...till one dae i knew he had a gerl tt he dotes in his life...n tt point of time den i 'm sure how much he meant to mi..cause tt nite i can't sleep,i can't eat....i was so moody..i lock myself in de room feel tt i was decive but de person i trust....but i can't put it tt way...cause i din tell him my feelings...den daes pass i grew weaker n i can't control my fear n emotions....of loosing him...because he used to send mi loads n loads of msg lyk i was sum1 special...but after tt....nt a single msg recieve...i felt so hurt tt i jus want to go n scold him..jus to let all de anger off...but i din cause de mistake din lie on him..how is he suppose to noe my feelings...he's nt mi..den i began to hate myself..i hate myself so much tt i almost wan to kill myself...though i noe tt my killing myself...i din solve de problem...i craete another problem...so now my heart has a big empty space...waitin to be filled...i noe part of it is filled by MICHELLE,JIE LUN & AMOS FOUR.dey r de ones tt keep mi goin...n ms ng...though she hadr on us...but she gave many gd advices tt make mi realise tt..no matter how much i suffer...he he dun want to care...he will remain nt to care....so i jus hav to bring myself up n face de challange tt heaven has decide..
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