hate me? then PISS OFF.

a sudden tought flashed through my mind,as i was sitting in my room alone hearing music.suddenly i tought about the past.when my life seems perfect and der is no miskate at all...and as if der will never be any..till 1 dae a boom came down from no where and crash all my happie times wit him...it was so sudden,i din expect it all....and wen that happen that was de time i relised that he ment so much too mi.but by de time i relised,...he was already attached.i fet so dumb,useless,n meaningless on earth....i felt as if i am on earth jus to used up de raw materials that soon will be gone ...my head is blank...i am so confused...i can't think of nothing but him...in class i will think of him eventhough i sat der keeping quiet...but my mind won't be der...de teacher will call my name n i dun relised it n dunnoe how to answer..cos my heart and soul wasn't derpaying attention....den here am i in dis useless class that i hated to be in...i really missed him far more than i love him....i'm trying to reach to de past,trying to touch the moment.each precious minute that u were mine.how do u prepare,when u love someone this way,to let them go a little mor each dae?....Look at mi ,i'm in a place i thought id never be .dun hav de strength to fight anymor or reason to leave.so tell mi y i keep holding on,to something i just cannot get.what makes u stay when ur world falls apart...One of the worst feelings in the world is to have lost the one u love and then still love them with all ur heart...u go to sleep at night thinking of them and wake up the same...but the worst thing is dreaming of him every night, just like u were still together...then u wake up crying cause u know it will never be the same...and u know its ur fault hes gone.i feel so depress cause because every day we spent together is slowly being replaced by everyday we spend apart.u noe how much effort i put to make it becum reality wen it came dwn cashing within a seconds...
Uve changed so much...i guess thats what happens...i wish u knew how much uve changed me...i wonder if ive changed u, if ur life is different because of me...because mines different...my god, u taught me so much, and now we barely even talk to each other...i guess thats what happens...i guess thats just life...Every now and then, i wish it were then instead of now.... u made me want to be a better person, u made me smile when i thought i couldnt, u turned my life around...and for this reason i know ill love u forever.I wonder if u have any idea what its like to be me watching u and knowing there will never be an us.I dont know whats going on...ive been wanting u for so long...i just cannot help myself...i want u and no one else...no matter what i try to do i cannot stop loving u...but how can it be true to u? when u dont need me, like i need u?I dont know whats going on...ive been wanting u for so long...I keep looking back and i cant help but cry, because u no longer love me and i dont know why...but please just remember and know that its true, there will always be a place in my heart just for u.

-------------------------

haiz...i hate my dis year class...all my bez fwen different class as mi..first dae of sch kena called up by adam cause nvr tug in shirt...den sit back at de class no partner...de onli 1 frm 2e4 is qiong n lynn...qiong partner lynn deni partner ghost lorz...go back class...my class level 2....den sit alone...den cher first dae readi tell us our sitting arrangement...den i kena sit wit this boi...so quiet...borring lor...so most of de time i walk at de corridor of de class or sleep lor...my class so quiet...haiz...sometimes wen sitting in de class starring at de blank wall i think about de past 2e4...how noisy our class is....how sue-e will make de class noisy...den manda will shout diam la...den sue e tok back...den lionel frm behind de class will shout shut up la...den how pervert our class...wen lionel bring fhm magazine to de class den we all see...n how mi,nani,manda,jie lun will disturb jordan wen he sleepin...how we bully mr goh..n he willl walk out of de class n not teach our class den manda will chase after him n tok him out nt togive up so easily on our class...now no mor loundspeakers in our class...all mind their own buisness...n nt care abt others...3e5 is nt call a class..cause it is nt united...still remember wen we wan to choose our class moto...we will argue lots about it...den sue-e n lionel will give stupid comments... now...my class lyk de moto or dun lyk de moto oso keep quiet....no comment...n de most is i miss seeing miss ng pulling sue-e,manda mi n de others ears...i'm surewen coral speakin..our class won't be able to qulify de first round...i want my bez fwen....i hate 3e5!3e5 sux to de core!

-------------------------